When All Else Fails…Walk it Off.

Close you eyes and imagine for a moment that you are trapped in a relatively nice home….. with several short people…… who do little besides ask for snacks, and cold heartedly destroy the rain forest one piece of construction paper at a time.

 

This is butterfly girl. Gianna created her super hero attire.

This is butterfly girl. Gianna created her super hero attire.

 

This is super candy something or other, she can waste a pack of construction paper in the blink of an eye.

This is super candy something or other, she can waste a pack of construction paper in the blink of an eye.

 

In this situation you will eventually find yourself with no construction paper and a huge mess.  The small people will have become bored with their wasteful games, and you will have previously already watched all the shows on netflix…for children, obviously.   The only option you have left is to walk it off, literally…….you should take the kids for a walk.  Just load the smaller/non-walking children into a stroller…

 

aug-sept 2013 177

Side note: I do not advise giving babies coffee. Never in a million years. Just give them the cup to play with.

Then you have the option with the older children to either let them walk (boring), or ride a bike….

 

While biking is fun, I do not advise this option unless you are wanting to wear yourself out, instead of the kids. Bikes go faster than feet, did you know that?! I learn everything the hard way.

While biking is fun, I do not advise this option unless you are wanting to wear yourself out, instead of the kids. Bikes go faster than feet, did you know that?! I learn everything the hard way.

OR, you could let them use a scooter…

 

Not as fast as a bike, not as boring as walking.....not quite as hard to keep up with.

Not as fast as a bike, not as boring as walking…..not quite as hard to keep up with.

But I have found out recently that the best option for sedating children is to take them on a long walk wearing roller blades…

 

Roller blades are extremely hard for kids to use and require a lot of effort. The longer the walk the better.

Roller blades are extremely hard for kids to use and require a lot of effort. The longer the walk the better.

 

Poor Ann, she tries so hard to keep up with the others.

Poor Ann, she tries so hard to keep up with the others.

 

In all seriousness, I find the best way to maintain sanity is to flee the house.  Look out!  I will go anywhere.  The grocery store, Target, Walmart, a public park, God help us all, even the library.  Being in the house all the time starts to feel similar to being in an abusive jail.

 

This is a warning sign that tells me to get the heck out of the house....and fast.....WITH the children of course, I would never trust them with the breakables alone.

This is a warning sign that tells me to get the heck out of the house….and fast…..WITH the children of course, I would never trust them with the breakables alone.

 

That being said, it is eerily quiet right now.  I should probably go see what’s going on.  Happy Monday!  Oh, and on a side note, its Michael’s 7th birthday today!  Its been 7 years since the birth of the gigantic Michael Peter, which made me question whether I ever wanted to do THAT again….of course I think we all know the end to that story.

 

I don't know what Michael had in mind in this picture. Side note, my Aunt occasionally sends my children a box with clothes and toys. Its overwhelmingly fun.  As seen in this picture with their new shirts on.

I don’t know what Michael had in mind in this picture. Side note, my Aunt occasionally sends my children a box with clothes and toys. Its overwhelmingly fun. As seen in this picture with their new shirts on.

 

Parental guilt. Eli wasn't in the last picture. Fair is fair.

Parental guilt. Eli wasn’t in the last picture. Fair is fair.

 

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15 thoughts on “When All Else Fails…Walk it Off.

  1. OH paper. Like, sometimes I feel seriously guilty when I call to ask Aaron to bring home another ream…three days after he brought the last one home. But it keeps them soooo happy, take up relatively little space, and I do recycle it soooooooo……

    And the third to last picture looks eerily similar to what is going on in our living room right now……….. Heaven help me.

  2. haha, moderation. i have no moderation when it comes to commenting.
    i crack myself up. Probably no one else though.
    Okay. I’m really done now.

  3. Reading your blog posts has been like finding a piece of candy when I didn’t think I had anything but crumbs to keep me going.
    Side note: Gianna should keep those super hero masks for when they do super hero day in high school.

  4. Bahahaha suhweet! Um, I’m thinking there needs to be a post on the education of what it’s actually like *to* shop at the store… not sure about you, but I think stores should welcome parents that bring their broods with cranberry vodkas at the door, then make the sackers follow around the family serving as jester entertainment (what–all they do is mop and push carts anyway–borrrrinnnng!) Lol.

  5. Mary, I love reading these. SO funny. Keeping me sane in my jail with my two, but gives me confidence that I can handle more! You go Mary Big Hair!!!

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